Chaotic Perfections

-By Deeksha Shridhar

In a whirlwind of chaos, we observe patterns and structures of beauty.

says a friend of mine, right before snapping his fingers in front of my bored, half – shut eyes. Caffeine and assignments had stolen the precious few minutes of sleep I managed to find in the last few days.

Rewind.

A chilly breeze passes, cutting through my face like the steely blade of a razor. Goose pimples rise on my arms, in response to the dipping mercury. My eyelids weigh heavy, forcing my eyes shut, into a short, yet deep, slumber. My mind plays Nuvole Bianche in the background.

Feel.

My recollection of the music is strong. With every change in pitch, nerve endings at my scalp and cheeks respond. A vivid dance of colours twists and mangles itself, every time my skin twitches. A new pattern spins out, destroying the previous.

Hallucinate.

The stench of cardboard at the canteen I’m sitting at seems oddly satisfying today, so much so that it fuels my imagination. With all my senses cut off, except for smell and my mind’s internal eye, I give all my attention to the brilliant medley unfolding in front of me. All the noises around me fade into a blur.

I try to keep the thought away.

“Try harder,” I hear my mind say. “No, you can’t allow that thought to come. Not now.” The struggle is intense and the effort, palpable. However, I can’t contain it further.

The question bursts, “Why?”

One-word questions are the worst forms of torture. Within the battling of an eyelid, my mind flags off countless trains of thought from one station, “Why”.

Why do I feel this?

Why do I not hear anything else?

Why am I seeing these?

And, the most dreaded: Why is this happening?

The sound of a snap of fingers sends blood gushing at my temples; a jolt of pain screeches at my ear drum. Any remaining ounce of sleep leaves me, like air from a deflated balloon. A timely statement brings me back to our reeking canteen,

“In a whirlwind of chaos, we observe patterns and structures of beauty.”

A moment of confusion storms my face. Then, I look around and find myself smiling – smiling at the unexpected relevance of this statement, and the beauty of relating to it.  

Life is hard for students at college. Endless hours of procrastination pile up humongous amounts of work. The strongest coffee and longest streaks of awakeness are, at times, not enough to keep up with the course load. I put myself in this situation in the past month.

But today, I had managed to keep myself calm in this frenzy. I didn’t move with it.

Instead, I observed it.  

Through this blog, we wish to open your mind to such experiences while slowing thoughts down to the present, with a novel tool – poetry. Here, we will introduce you, not only to the world of poetry, but also to a unique sense of elation achieved through reading it. Riding you through a variety of poems, their analysis and appreciation, a breeze of trivia and interactions with readers across the world, we wish to start you on your path to mindfulness.  

Come, join us as we explore this world and its multiple facets.

Happy Reading!

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